Disciplining our children is one of the number one goals of the true believer. Folks, we have to make sure that what we are bringing to our little ones is what the Father desires. Here is a little laundry list of items that will help us with our children.
“Do What I Do” Is a Real Concept!
Children emulate their parents. So, if you are going around telling people that it’s a sin to watch TV and to remove your TVs from the home but yet you have mastered watching TV from your computer, then it might be time for a little adjustment. Stop being so self-righteous and tell folks, “I focus on what I watch within the media.” This is something that the child could respect and you won’t be raising a hypocrite. Everything you do is important so just be very mindful of your behavior. Remember, they don’t do what you say; they do what you do!
The Commandments Are Important But The “Why” Is Even More Important!
Imagine dad running around the house yelling at his sons because they did not read the scriptures. If “yelling” is a normal response to when the child does not keep the letter of the commandment, it could be that the Father or (parents) have lost the essence or the spirit of the commandment. For example consider the commandment to wear the ribbon of blue in Numbers 15:38. The commandment was “we should look upon it, and remember all the commandments of YHWH, and do them; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring:” We have to be mindful to know that putting fear in your child for not wearing the fringes or keeping any of the other laws is NOT more important than teaching him about the sin that comes when we as parents actually make commandments into something that is “After our own eyes.” In other words it is important that we as parents don’t make the commandments a stumbling block for our children. If we are teaching our children properly, they will actually learn to love the commands and as they see our relationship with Him growing and blossoming they will naturally desire to do the things that He has commanded us to do. Also when we are obedient He shows us deep spiritual lessons that we then can pass on to our children.
Hug But Not After We Discipline!
When you are teaching your children and you have to discipline them, please don’t hug them immediately after you have given a stiff rebuke. If you do this, you are opening the door of rebellion. The message this sends to the child is “If I do this, they are going to yell at me and then feel guilty. I can do whatever I want because my parents are suckers.” Please do not fall into this trap. When you are correcting, allow your point of correction to set in. Hugs and times of affection are needed and welcomed, just not when the heat is on. Also just as a suggestion not as a command. I learned years ago from Dr. James Dobson that you don’t spank with your hands. You love with your hands and spank with a little ruler or some other item that won’t hurt your child. Also, don’t discipline when you are angry. If you are really upset, wait a little while until you are calm and then proceed. You can even tell them, “I need a little time to collect my thoughts. I am really upset right now.” This might even give them more time to think about what they did wrong and may even repent which would allow the whole situation to be resolved before you get into any further punishment.
Spend Some Quality Time
What is “Quality Time?” “Time spent in giving another person one's undivided attention in order to strengthen a relationship, esp. with reference to working parents and their child or children.”
Question: Do you spend quality time with your children?
That’s one thing that should be made clear for those of us that are totally committed to training our children. Just because we are teaching and training our children (which is our God given right and biblical responsibility) we should not assume that this replaces the children’s need for relationship. We as parents have many responsibilities, one of the chief roles that we have as progenitors is to nourish our little ones. I feel like a remedy for success would look something like this:
- Correct / discipline
- Spend quality time outside of teaching
I don’t know a homeschooling Dad or Mom that does not spend time in the first two bullets. However we all could remember to stay focused on the last bullet point. Children are all different. They have different likes and dislikes. Some like to play, some like to read, some like to do both. Some desire to do home projects with you (Dad or Mom). We need to be listening and paying much attention to our children as we are bringing them up.
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. - Deuteronomy 6:7
We are responsible for raising little ones. One day they won’t be little anymore. What we do while they are tots will impress them more than you could ever imagine. So work with them while you have time. Focus on them and be intentional. Stay fully committed and seek out resources that will encourage you to grow as a parent.